All I Wanna Do Is Take a Number Two

I woke up this mornin’ with a rumble in my gut

Last night’s chili and whiskey, guess it’s catchin’ up

The rooster’s crowin’ but I ain’t movin’ quick

‘Cause buddy, nature’s callin’ with a joke and a kick

The coffee’s brewin’, I’m feelin’ blue

Ain’t nothin’ else on my mind but gettin’ through

All I wanna do is take a number two

Lock the door and read the morning news

Don’t care for sunshine or a mountain view

Right now my heart and soul got a different pursuit

All I wanna do is take a number two

My boss is ringin’, says I’m already late

But I’m stuck in this moment, it’s a twist of fate

My hound dog’s whinin’, wants to go outside

But nobody’s leavin’ till I find my pride

Tappin’ my boots, just waitin’ in line

Feels like eternity, but I’ll be fine

All I wanna do is take a number two

Lock the door and read the morning news

Don’t care for sunshine or a mountain view

Right now my heart and soul got a different pursuit

All I wanna do is take a number two

There’s peace I find upon that porcelain throne

Where all my troubles vanish, I’m in a world of my own

Forget about the traffic and the chatter in town

I’ll emerge a new man when I finally sit down

All I wanna do is take a number two

Lock the door and read the morning news

Don’t care for sunshine or a mountain view

Right now my heart and soul got a different pursuit

All I wanna do is take a number twoSo don’t you judge me, you know it’s true

Sometimes in life, you just gotta do what you gotta do