Three Years Too Long

Three years gone and I still don't feel real

I count the days like scars that never heal

Missed your birthdays, missed your first new steps

Watched you grow in my mind, but I ain't held you yet

Two daughters, one son, my whole heartbeat

I see smiles in the shadows of the street

Pictures on my phone don't warm these nights

I'm reaching through the dark

Trying to make it right

If love could cross this sentence

I'd be home before the break of day

Fold you in and never let go

Tell you what my silence couldn't show

Three years too long, I've been missing my babies

Too many nights, I've been praying and aching

Every candle blown, every memory I've kept

I love you more with every mile left

Three years too long, but I'm still holding on

To the hope that one day I can bring myself home

And when I try to get to look in your eyes

I'm gonna make up for a lifetime of goodbyes

I heard you laugh through a video call

And broke down hard when the signal fell off

Your little voices sound like heaven to me

But heaven hurts when it's only memory

I'm vulnerable now, but I won't pretend

I've cried these nights, wishing I could amend

Every missed hug, every tear you know

Every birthday cake, I should've held below

If you can still hear me, keep a place for me

I'm coming with a broken heart and a key

To open the door I should never have lost

To love you louder, whatever it costs

I've been missing my babies

Too many nights

I've been praying and begging

Every candle blown, every memory I've kept

I love you more with every mile left

Too long, but I'm still holding on

To the hope that one day I can bring myself home

And when I finally get to look in your eyes

I'm gonna make up for a lifetime of goodbye

Three years too long

But love survives

I'm coming home

To my daughters and son tonight