Avoidant Mirror

I keep my hands on my pockets when the room gets loud

Smile like a ribbon, tied you tight and proud

We talk in circles, make a maze out of my mind

If you ask me where it hurts, I'll leave the answer undefined

I saw your shadow at the edge of my door

And I stepped back before you could ask for more

I make a home in the space between

Close enough to feel, too far to be seen

I'm avoiding, I vanish from the light, guess close

I wear my fear like a pretty little ghost

If you reach for my heart, it turns to stone

I don't know how to stay when I feel numb

I'm avoiding, and I hate that it's true

I disappear even when I'm standing next to you

I save my tears for the bathroom tile

Practice breathing like a borrowed smile

Every soft word sounds like a tragedy

So I bury everyone where nobody can see

You keep knocking with your honest eyes

But I built these walls with a thousand lies

I want the warmth, I want the fame

Then I panic when it calls my name

I'm avoiding

I vanish when the light gets closed

I wear my fear like a pretty little ghost

If you reach for my heart, it turns

To stone

I don't know how to stay when I

Feel numb

I'm avoiding and I hate that it's true

I disappear even when I'm standing next to you

Maybe one day I won't want the cover

Maybe one day I can be a little softer

Until then, I'm a locked up room

With a trembling key and I could get home

I'm avoiding, but I still hear your voice

Calling me back through all my noise

If you hold on tight, maybe I'll learn

How to let the safe things burn

I'm avoiding, but I'm trying to grow

One careful step at a time toward what I don't know