Sideline Chaos: Matt’s Saturday Madness

It’s Saturday, Matt’s on the sideline,

Shouting at the ref like it’s his time,

“Are you having a laugh?!” every single breath,

Even linesman’s thinking “mate… maybe not”

Pacing up and down like he’s running the game,

But no one really knows what he’s tryna explain,

Blowing up loud like he’s in the prem,

But it’s just Saturday football… calm it, Matt, again

Then a Brereton player yelled it loud from the pitch,

“Oi ref, sort their gaffer!” from the sideline switch,

Whole bench froze, then a couple kids laughed,

Even Matt went quiet for a second—mad

Takes off his glasses, tryna look all wise,

But now he can’t see what’s happening with his eyes,

“Ref that’s a foul!” — yeah, sure mate, nice try,

Ball’s on the other side… wrong call, wrong guy

Still shouting orders like “win it!” “go long!”

Half the team confused like “what’s going on?”

But deep down we know, yeah he means it well,

Even if his tactics send us straight to hell

Scooters flying through training, absolute mess,

Weaving through cones while he’s under stress,

“GET OFF THE PITCH!” he’s shouting out loud,

Trying to control that chaotic crowd,

Kids zoom past like it’s Mario Kart,

Boosting through drills like it’s straight from the start,

Drifting round cones like it’s Rainbow Road,

Matt’s on the sideline about to explode

Pre-season hits and we’re back in the grind,

Lime Valley Park, yeah he’s got us lined,

Laps round the park till our legs feel dead,

“ONE MORE RUN!” is the thing he said,

Then up that hill for sprint after sprint,

Lungs on fire but we still don’t quit,

Grass, sweat, pain, but we carry on,

While Matt just watches like “keep going strong”

And yeah he’s loud, yeah he’s a bit mad,

But every team’s got that one coach like Matt,

Bit chaotic, bit blind, bit too intense,

But it wouldn’t be the same without the nonsense.