Middle Step Memories

Back in ′88, that's the first clear frame;

Birthday lights in the room, but the air felt strange;

Me and my little brother on the middle step;

Being nosy little kid,

I′m tearing every word they kept;

Mama and my father upstairs, voices down the hall;

We was listening hard, trying to catch it all;

I was too young to know what the silence meant;

Just a child in the smoke of an argument;

Then my father said, come on, and we walked outside;

Picked us up in a truck, tried to smooth the ride;

We surfed for 30, 30 nights, foot slow;

But the house we came back to was wounded, broke;

Window busted out, and my heart split in two;

One little night, thought it'd follow me;

I was wishing for peace, wishing for a sign;

Trying to hold on to a mother left behind;

1988 still lives in my mind;

A birthday song mixed with tears,

I can't lie;

Window busted out and the lesson was cruel;

Some scars stay young even when we heal;

I used to dream she'd come back soft and whole;

Bottle full of love, trade the hurt for soul;

Like have a seat at the table in my chest;

Hoping one day she'd choose us over the rich;

Now she's sober, but the years moved on;

Kids got grown and the little ones gone;

She ain't preaching like a mama should;

Ain't being grandma the way

I hoped she would;

Time don't cost, throw the pain, renew;

It just keeps on moving, whether we do too;

I forgave a lot, but the wound still shows;

When a child still asks where the mother love goes;

When the bus did half, and my heart split too;

Run little night, but it feels so good;

I was wishin' for peace, wishin' for a sign;

Tryin' to hold on to a mother left behind;

1988 still lives in my mind;

A birthday song made for tears that fade out when they're busted out;

And the

S&W crew, some skies stay on even when we do;

My daughter birthday comin' up, August 14th;

I want better memories, better days for our eyes;

No child should have to grow up in those lines;

If you missed your chance, the clock don't bend;

But I still pray hearts can try again;

When you're busted out;

And my heart's flipped too;

One little night, but it followed me through;

All this wishing for peace, wishing for a smile;

Trying to hold on to a mother left behind;

1988 still lives in my mind;

A birthday song mixed with tears

I can't hide;

Window busted out, and the lesson was cruel;

Some scars stay young even when we do;

Yeah, the mask don't heal, it just changes shape;

I survived that night, and I learned;

Now I give my love where it's true;

For my baby girl,

I'm gonna see it through;